CLOTHING AWESOMENESS: SUSPENDERS!

Many a fat person will tell you that suspenders are to hold up your pants in the face of a massive gut.  Belts just can’t handle this pressure.  My belt does the job just fine but when you got an extra 250 lbs swinging around that mid section it gets a little harder to control.  I have to beg to differ on this one.  I am pretty damn sure that suspenders are meant to help you win truck stop arm wrestling matches.

Ayeeee yooo, i gots to hold my pants when i am wrestling....yoooo, adrian, ayee yooo, Rocky Balboa John Rambo John Spartan other things that do with Stallone!

I think the main point is that you have to know how to wear your suspenders.  Hipster look?

Not cool looking, stop copying Sly. You won't beat him in arm wraslin he also wears those.

Thrown in a side kick dog and a cape? Maybe some giant green muscles? Sounds good to me.

Winner!

Fashion is just easy for me, I know I just get it.  When wearing your blue boots you need red suspenders and to shave your big green bald head.  I should win America’s Next Top Model.

Massive Win.

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Awesome Song of the Day #115

Crystal Castles –

Baptism – LIVE

If you can rock to that, you and I can have Thanksgiving dinner together any time… Even when it’s not Thanksgiving.

PEACE!

FULL OF SHIT AWESOMENESS: MY FAVORITE MARTIAN!

I was perusing the wide selection of movies Free On Demand (comcast better pay me for that plug, cheap bastards).  Ran across something called “My Favorite Martian”.  Sounded fucking great.  I love martians and my favorite one! check and done.  I was ready for 7 hours of heads exploding and baby aliens popping out of chest on far and way distance universes.  I start watching and to my utter dismay and horror this movie was in fact not about Predator.  Rather this crap.

Predator would own this guy. Fuck, Marvin the Martian would own Doc Brown.

Don’t get me wrong, Doc Brown was cool as a Doc Brown in Back to The Future, sure. But Teen Wolf made those movies we all know that.

Here is my list for Martians that would have been much better for this movie.  Keep Jeff Daniels because he is the man and add any one of these.

Predator

Creepaziod (best movie poster ever?)

Alien

Aliens

Alien 3

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg

Pizza The Hut

ID4 Aliens

The Rancor

Mac from Mac and Me ( anything that is a blatant low budget rip off of ET I like)

The Night of The Creep Creeps / The Slither things

Space Jam

Three Boobied Total Recall Girl

The giant baby at the end of 2001

and Ewoks

So hollywood, stop with the false advertising.  Next time Jeff Daniels is hanging out with a Martian it better have 3 tits or be made of pizza.

I’m hungry.

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Awesome Song of the Day #114

Live

Lighting Crashes

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HIATUS AWESOMENESS: I AM NOT DEAD I PROMISE!

I’ve been on a self imposed hiatus the last few weeks.  No it is not a TOOOMA! Just me working on some personal shit! Which does include me personally shitting which is convenient.  So I am not really posting tonight more just saying I should be back tomorrow.  But I wanted to get your appetite for me brewing.  I dreamed a wonderful dream recently.  I was this-

Yeah, your right. I am a freak

Well that was fun.  Mr. Potato head, storm trooper.  The only way it could be cooler if it was a Jean Claude Van Damme potato head, but I think the stumbling blocks on that design is getting the Potato to do the splits or enter the Kumate.

See ya soon sweetie.

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Awesome Song of the Day #113

The Helio Sequence

Keep Your Eyes Ahead