Archive for March, 2010

ANIMAL AWESOMENESS: KOALA BEARS!

Posted in Animals, Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, Dork, Humor, Nature with tags , , , , , , , on March 6, 2010 by tsanda

So cute.

KOALA BEAR

Ahhhhh. Nature's Pillow.

Like me of the mini bear world. Wait! Fact check! Give me a pause………….

I am back, Professor Wikipedia, has informed yet again I am wrong and the English Language is full of shit.

Koala Bears are not in fact bears.  The name has fooled me for years and years and years and years. Maybe Koala Marsupial just didn’t sound right.  I think its got a cathy ring to it, and honesty is the best policy, thats what Momma TsandA always said. Until I found out that she was a double agent from Moscow trying to steal all my secrets…. can’t trust anybody not even the Koala.

You know what really makes them awesome.  Big doughey eyes? No, but close those do get me everytime.  The little button nose? No silly we aren’t talking about me.  The giant razor sharp claws that are supposed to be on a dragon not an actual Ewok. Yepppp. Look at these beasts!

Koala Claw

Claws of a El Chupacabra? They freeekin wish.

Holy balls, they are so redic that they only need 3! (as far as I know that’s a guess this picture only shows 3 so they only have 3 toes)

The uses for these? Peeling fruits. Climbing Trees. Slashing other dirt bag Koalas in the grill when they step.  For real though, Im not even sure tigers want any piece of that.  That’s were they get you.

Koala – “Ahhh look at me I am cute as can be”

Tiger – “nice, gonna eat you bitch”

Swiping noise

Tiger – dead.

Koala then eats the Tiger while starring at the Tiger’s family and just points with one of those claws “don’t step”

Evil Koala

Full of Tiger Meat. Look at the gnarly scar on the face! that's from Koala gang fighting. Truth.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.  Because that book could eat your tiger.

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Awesome Song of the Day #109

was a debate today, Rural Alberta Advantage is pretty sweet, but we’ve been without some rap for a minute.

The Clipse Ft. Camron (produced by the Neptunes)

Popular Demand (popeyes)

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FOOD AWESOMENESS: FIG NEWTONS!

Posted in Awesome, awesome song of the day, awesomness, blog, Dork, Food, Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 2, 2010 by tsanda

Fig Newtons are not as popular as they used to be.  I call strike 3 on society.  First, people have turned on Nick Cage? Thought I couldn’t handle it there. Next, Cookie Monster is a fucking vegetarian? He only ate cookies god damn-it he was already a fucking vegetarian!   There are no such things as meat cookies. However … the thought is intreaging … and I may mix my next steak with some sugar cookie mix…oven it..eat it.  Roll, in it? Anybody? Just me? Fine more meat cookies for the old badass.

Then Fig Newtons dropped in popularity! Jesus Hansen Christ! Have you tried one? Lately or ever…? If it’s never get your head out your ass … stop eating garbage and go get some.  I don’t care how you get some….just get some! (i stole that from a sweet Texas Car dealer ad)

Like all food not as good looking in actual picture form. But looks better than they do on the exit trip! HA get it..nuge nuge, wink wink…shit joke!

Fig Newtons

I had 7 before I could take the picture...got a problem with that? Yeah, your right I didn't take that pic..but I did eat 7 fig newtons...okay 19.

It is a delicious fruit wrapped in cake! Holy Hell! Almost as enticing as Meat Cookies. Or Snicker Sandwiches!  Did your mom ever say, “hey kid, eat some fruit…and you can have cake after”  Wanna bake her noodle (not a sexual phrase I promise) Just say this “mommy! BOTH!”.  Works every time.  Your food pyramid more like a square? Just waffles? Well mine is immaculate.  47 servings of fruit.  All Figs with Newton wrappers.

EVEN RACCOONS LIKE THEM! WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?

Raccoon Eating a Fig Newton

If this doesn't make you smile then you hate fig newtons and raccoons. And are the Devil.

Billy Nye- “Badass?”

Me: “Yes resident scientist?”

Billy Nye – “Have you ever had a regular fig?” You know the Fruit?”

Me – “No, don’t be fucking silly. What is this? Crazy Town America?”

Enough with science for the day.

I am so glad the internet exists.  This last picture just fell in my lap.  Meat Cookies? Nah, I’ll take some Meat Newtons Please! OHHH BOY!  I am so excited to see your face when you see this next picture.  Just don’t look in the tree outside your house.  Promise I am not there….promise.

Meat Fig Newtons

Ha! yep. Somebody is a jeanius! HA the internet is incredible. My folks missed out for sure.

Wow my Bucket List is actually complete.  I saw a raccoon eating a Fig Newton.  Wait one more entry on my Bucket List.  See the Bucket List. Nice, tonight is gonna be sweet, Meaty Cake filled figs and Jack Nicholson flirting with Morgan Freeman.

Time has come to say bye.  Bye.

Awesome Song of the Day # 108

Electric Light Orchestra

Evil Woman

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