CHILDHOOD AWESOMENESS: TOYS THAT TEACH SKILLS!
Halo, no skills taught. Kids just sitting around smoking bongs shooting rockets at each other at a prison. What can you use that for in real life? I’m asking you. I can wait……….
I got sick of waiting and learned some war tactics and mental visualization skills by playing a quick game of battleship with my dog. He always sinks my battle ship! Then I throw the board across the room and pout. I am currently pouting. Big frowny face. Shup up eligh, I know you always win.
What else do kids do these days? Pokeman? Digimon? Some other japanese card crap thing? That only teaches kids to be poofs who are afraid of the sun none of those animals are real… at least when I was a kid I had baby animal memory. Great for the brain and adorable.
When I was a kid we practiced being construction workers. Practical real world skills that we could transfer to our adult lives.
Look how much fun I had? Buckets. Which I knew how to fill and empty because of my construction skills.
My imaginary sister. What did she get? Easy-Bake oven Now she can bake the shit out of some stuff. And as a secret added bonus that you just don’t think about. Changing Light Bulbs. Think about it. Two skills in one! Personal Palm Computers for kids? Kids don’t have appointments! You don’t need a Palm Pre to schedule picking your nose. I remember just fine.
Well I have effectively offended my female fans. Ha thats a good one. Girls don’t read this. Or talk to me… More frowny face!
I really don’t party with to many children these days. Trying to think of more stuff they do that sucks. Let me think.
I just googled some shit that pisses me off more than fire ants on my face. When I was a kid nerf and super soaker where the shit. You had to convince your folks to get 2 toys to get both. Now they have combined forces!? Whaaaa? First KFC and Taco Bell now Super Soaker and Nerf? Ohh no big d…looks like crap. Good. That was a close call thought kids these days had a foot up on us. Nope still sucky.
Bull shit super nerfers don’t have shit on… king kong!!! Yes, Denzel Washington, we realize that … now stop yelling that at Ethan Hawke. He is fragile and stop interrupting my blog. I was going to say hungry hungry hippos.
How many lessons in that game?!?!?! Count em. Survival of the Fittest! ONE!. But a good lesson, if you don’t eat as much as you can, and as much of your co-hippas food as you can. Then you will starve to death. What happens when there is no more food? Ughhh, play again. World resources solved yet again. I tackle the big issues move over anderson cooper.
Awesome Song of the Day #111