ORAL AWESOMENESS: WISDOM TEETH!


I know that title is a little misleading. It’s okay… a calculated plan of mine to get more hits by tricking people to my blog.  You wonder how I get a calculated plan?  Just use the plan feature on your Casio Calculator Watch and it will lead you in the right direction.  Or figure out the best tip for a given meal.  So last friday I was supposed to get my wisdom teeth pulled.  I only had 3 and they weren’t impacted.  But 1 had a giant hole in it and was rotting.  Which is really cool.  And yep my breath did smell like peaches.  The Oral Surgeon had “an emergency”, that emergency better have been John Stamos needing his wisdom teeth out.  IF, and only If that was the delay, then we coool.  If not…watch your back son.   It was saturday night and I started feeling really bad pain.  By sunday afternoon when I should have been enjoying the Colts kick the shit out of the Jets I was laying on the couch in a ball crying.  And I wasn’t even watching lifetime! I know! So yesterday this was me (gross alert!)

Wisdom Teeth

My surgery was done with lazers and robots. Pretty high tech shit. It was preformed by Robocop and the Terminator.

So I got those monstrosities out, I had even asked politely to have them save my teeth so I could chill with them.  I had two plans for them.  1) see what the tooth fairy would give me for those bad boys.  I was thinking 50.00 US security bond.  2) if that didn’t work out… Yep, necklace.  I was going to convince people I hunt and kill hobos for fun and keep 1 wisdom tooth per victory.  Would have made me the cock of the walk…. Guaranteed.

Now I can only sit and remember when I think they would have looked like.  That oral surgeon screwed me out of a bad ass necklace!

Wisdom Teeth

This chipmunk is a genius! Somebody find me that chipmunk I want to party with him. FYI... well placed smiley face...good work internet chipmunk

No obvious jokes about how unwise these teeth actually are… so juvenile, I am way better than that ….I mean really they grow in sideways? Weak. Moron Teeth more like it!… I couldn’t help myself.  Just like I can’t help myself around pancakes.  Ohh and go to Denny’s they have a new 3 plate breakfast meal.  I don’t know how that is possible/legal….but I am sold.

Out

Enjoy this 10 minutes of incredibleness. 100 “Cheesiest” Movie Lines…I say Best/Awesome/incredible…but you say tomato I say cabbage.

——

Awesome Song of The Day #96

Gucci Mane

Dope Boys

(Bird Anderson Remix from the Diplo Free Gucci, best of the Cold War Mixtapes)

give it a good listen…the beat is soooo chilllin and the lyrics are incredible. (like a pigeon in the sky I just shitted in your eye)

As Always…I love you.

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2 Responses to “ORAL AWESOMENESS: WISDOM TEETH!”

  1. It’s good to be loved. thank you.

    Those are some pretty Cheesiest lines. I remember most of them by heart … because my brain is used for other stuff.

    Wisdom teeth are as useless as having 3 eyes or 4 fingers on each foot … or 2 arms growing out of one of your shoulders … or somethng like that.

  2. your bleeding…

    i ain’t got time to bleed…

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