CLOTHING AWESOMENESS: THE UNITARD!


My last post opened a pandoras box of sorts.  The monkey wearing a unitard.  I got shit tons of comments about that…one… jeeezzz I was shooting for 3.  Ohh well NDB (no big deal for those of you who aren’t hip… AKA my folks.  Love ya mom!)  So this Pandora’s box of sorts, I think everybody who reads my blog… which equals the population of China.  Do the math! Is now wearing the One – Tard.  (unitard for fashionistas) Here is a picture of me enjoying the breeze on a beach in my uni.

Unitard

Enjoying the fresh smell of spring, in my unitard, the world is my oyster.

You’re wondering this question, audibly to yourself, as you read this, naked on the can.  (that sentence has a comma explosion, i never learned where to put those things I figure they are like chocolate chips.  The more the better….)

My 1 Billion Fans – “have you lost your mind? Those look silly and so impractical…I mean when can you wear them? and how do you get them on.”

Me – Mentally back to your brain in response.

“Nope Sister, it serves all purposes under the sun… and I have no idea how to get that shit on. but thats not the point.”

Use:  Your ears are cold and you have to sit awkwardly with spirit fingers.

Answer – Blue full uni.

Blue Unitard

Perfect Solution for your cold ears... plus u still have the dexterity of a cat.

Use: Your a white guy?

Answer: Uno-tard. (spanish)

Unitard

I am enjoying the sound of you eating your words! No uses? It is perfect for that wake or interview you have to go to...

Use: Your not white?

Answer: guess.

Unitard

Big date? Fill in the Blanks _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ... shit... I have no idea how many letters are in unitard do I.

The moral of this story is that if it’s good enough for Freddie Mercury.  It is good enough for you.  You don’t have to worry about your clothes choices clashing. Your wearing stripes and solids after march? Fucking Idiot!  Well no more! + You don’t have to worry about being out of style.  You won’t have to worry about bears.  It really is just splendid to cut down your clothes putting on time by like 10 minutes.  Putting on pants and a shirt is for the fucking birds. Now go out there and show off that package to the world… if not you can borrow my tube sock.

Quote I love – “I can’t see you because I am a parapalegic…where is my paralegal?” – Gucci Mane

Nap time is upon me.

—-

Awesome Song of the Day #95

The XX

VCR

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2 Responses to “CLOTHING AWESOMENESS: THE UNITARD!”

  1. greenman is mysteriously left out of the picture gallery

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