SPACE AWESOMENESS: SHOOTING STARS!
No, I am not talking about shooting guns at Billy Zane. But stars don’t get any bigger than that so I can see the confusion. I’m talking about free wishes! All the fucking time. A meteor shower happened and now I have the 5 things I have always wanted.
1) A monkey who rides a go-cart in a unitard! TWO COMBINED SUPER WISHES!
2) Dinner once a week with Nick Cage and John Lithgow
3) A brontosaurus
4) Harrier Jump Jet
5) Fig Newtons a – fucking – lot – of them. Like 47.
Here is how it works. In the beginning …
Genesis 1:1 God said let there be wishes!
Genesis 1:2 God said let there be fire-y balls of gas that fall into the atmosphere!
Genesis 1:3 Don’t let it hit your house or you be fucked!
The rest is history. Now I ride my segway to my dolphin farm to play hoops with Dikembe Mutombo. Wishes are great. Somebody once said they don’t believe in wishes…you know what that jerk drives? Ford Taurus. You know what I drive with my “fake”wishes. Rocket Ship. Or Pirate Boat… if I am feeling like an adventure.
The moral of this story is next time the “sky is falling” close your eyes and that ice cream chair you’ve been hoping for will be all yours.
Just don’t be thinking about an axe in your face when it happens. That shit would suck… trust me. My next wish was a new face. And it’s beautiful.
I see some shooting stars….time to get some new bazookas.
Awesome Song of The Day #94
On Our Way
(dudes can just rap)