WEAPON AWESOMENESS: CATAPULTS!


The ancients were really something special.  They tore your guts out when mad at you.  The burned you alive for maybe just possibly being a witch or just a jerk in general.  You had to walk to the middle east just to get killed violently with sharp stuff for god.  Pretty cool houses though…and by houses I mean castles.  Castles were/are cool because of all the jumping you can do in them.

Jumpy Castle

Dragon + Castle = somebody's gonna need a nap today!

The castle was made to be impregnable, I am pretty sure none of them ever got pregnant … not even once. Although knights certainly tried.  So what are you to do as a marauding army of  English guys with swords?  You can’t scale the walls, hot tar on your face.  You can’t run through it, stone is some tough shit.  You certainly didn’t have stealth bombers quite yet.

Problem Solved. Lets take a bucket and throw giant rocks at it.  Maybe even light that shit on fire.  Catapults are fucking sweet because those idiots in their castle said this exact quote, “ha, you can’t get in…blah blah blah, we are English gentlemen”.  So the other guys, probably also British, I think all knights stuff only happened in british places, plus I don’t like to research, were like maybe we can string some rope…  Put a guy with a horse and sword in it and throw them into the castle to open the door.  So they tried it.  He hit the wall and died.  The horse, yep impaled on something.  Gross… the only other volunteers they could get were rocks.  So they went that route.  Sucks that you spend all this time building a sweet castle and all they other team has to do is throw giant burning rocks from just far enough away and your straight F’ed.

Spoonapult

The Spoonapult ... I use this to attack soup thats hiding in a bread bowl.

Who knew the catapult had so many parts.  After rope and bucket I was lost.  Apparently they have wheels so you can ride one to work.

Catapult

Catapult

I am a big fan of the fact that the easiest part of any of this image to identify are the ropes attaching the various dodads to each other and they have a (?) next to it.  Somehow the artist of this drawing isn’t quite sure what a rope is. But hey he is super jazzed about the wheels so I will let it slide.

End

Awesome Song of The Day #93

Neon Indian

Deadbeat Summer

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