CLOTHING AWESOMENESS: VELCRO!
I just stabbed 3 of my fingers off trying to do these stupid buttons on my shirt and lost an eye trying to tie my shoe! There has to be a better way to get dressed! Or I am doing the rest of my life naked… Thats illegal? In what state? All of them. Shit I better go put pants on. For those of you who may be confused by what velcro is let me utilize spaced aged micro imaging scanner technology that my neighbor the scientist let me use.
How long does it take to tie your shoes each day. It’s taking you way too long to answer I will answer for you. 25 minutes! Thats 500 Minutes a week. 10 Million minutes a year! You spend 99% of your life tying your shoes! Why?! you could be playing volleyball with those minutes. So shoes decided they wanted to help humans out and put this strip of sticky? connecty? Little pokey things that connect with the other side to create an air tight seal. It takes no time at all. Maybe 1 millisecond. You would need space aged time keeping equipment to figure that out. So much more time for volleyball. You know what I did to my old shoes?
My middle name is now high fashion. Not to mention my ass looks fantastic in these. Plus no time wasted getting them on for my big date!
Why would we waste our time teaching kids that the bunny needs to go under the log then through it then around it or some such shit. When they could just put to things together and kick fucking ass.
The moral of the story is pants flys need to be velco, shirts need to be velco, refrigerators, car doors, Harrison ford, space ships entries all need to be velco. Humanity could save so much time with a few velcro modifications.
Velcro + Be-dazzler = the future.
Wstercolours in the Ocean