LIQUOR AWESOMENESS: MOONSHINE!

The holidays always make people drink a lot of booze.  Either all the weird emotions that come from family… or people are just scared of Santa Claus.  I know I opt for meth/crack/speed/acid/weed mixture to cure my hatred/love affair with santa clause.  Emotions are scary.

I actually don’t drink liquor anymore picked one to many fights with cab drivers and floors.  The floors usually won and my liver usually lost.  However! If I can recommend your next black out I would recommend you find a old bearded dude in the woods and drink some of his liquid.

Howdy Folks I'm Mountain Bill! The special ingredient is my urine and snake venom!

Why drink Jack Daniels? It doesn’t come in a jar and can’t strip your engine of excess grease … I drank moonshine because it immediately evaporated all the food in my stomach… Helped me keep my girlish figure.  Can do that for you too.  Is your eyesight a little to 20/20? Drink some moonshine it will lower that significantly with just one sip.  Forget beer goggles, get a pair of moonshine binoculars you can see into the future! Plus you look very distinguished drinking something that was produced in a toilet in jail or in a rednecks bathtub.  At least the red necks bath tub hasn’t been dirtied with them bathing!  ZING! They don’t bathe! get it! Awesome.

If you look closely his head is about to burst into flames ... (also I think he is just in a regular restaurant classy place)

I’m gonna go stir by bath tub gin and drive to the elementary school.  My best customers are calling my name.

Out

—-

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #83

BILLY OCEAN

CARRIBEAN QUEEN

——