INTERGALACTIC AWESOMENESS: THE SUN!


Soooooo, I was staring at the sun today and went blind which reminded me who was the boss.  The sun, if it wanted, of course it could explode the planet Earth with flame balls and explosions.  Do you know what happens on the sun everyday? Solar Explosions!  The Sun sends out cosmic Hadukens all day ever day!  If you fell onto the sun not only would your face melt off but so would your pants!  Then your balls would get burnt and you’d have no pants! You would be so embarassed trying to hitch hike with aliens back to Earth!

Me - "Hey Sun! Stop exploding Venus! It's just a little guy!" - the Sun "fuck venus"

Me - "Hey Sun! Stop exploding Venus! It's just a little guy!" - the Sun "fuck venus"

Well Venus is gone.  Which is fine, Venus always made me think of veiny penises anyways. (i’ll give you some time to let that sink in).  I once heard some guy on the street tell me that the sun not only burns at a trazillion degrees but that it burns at blue when its sad!  Like a mood ring or mood eye patch, which is what Pirates used to wear.

Me - "It's okay sun, I know you miss Venus, but you were the one who melted it with all those explosions."  The Sun - "I... know...(sniffles and trembling lower lip)"

Me - "It's okay sun, I know you miss Venus, but you were the one who melted it with all those explosions." The Sun - "I... know...(sniffles and trembling lower lip)"

I also heard some “scientist” tell me that the sun is actually a smaller sized star and there are countless other stars that are bigger, brighter and hotter.  I said, scientist you’re obviously not a scientist of english, cause if there were more than 1, why is ours called THE SUN, not just, Some Sun In the Midst Of Millions Of Other Suns That May Or May Not Be Bigger Or Better… He said, what are the other stars then… to that I said, no more questions! and then this…

Suck it Scientist!

Suck it Scientist!

Then I ran away cause the cops saw me and apparently you can’t kick scientist in the nutz.  Whatever America! I am going to Soviet country.

END!

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Awesome song of the Day #55 Goes out to all my Peeps in NYC!

They Might Be Giants – New York City

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3 Responses to “INTERGALACTIC AWESOMENESS: THE SUN!”

  1. Nice. When you crotch kick scientists it is best to do with with enough force to lift them into the air. Also, as you did, you should hold it long enough for them to consider their mistakes, turn and apologize to you.

    I agree. It isn’t A Sun. It is The Sun. If all these other stars were so great, they wouldn’t have to wait until The Sun decided to take a break to be visible in all their twinkly tininess.

  2. The sun is like a cold capsule … it only works for 12 hours where I am.
    I’m not sure about other places though.

    Why does that man’s penis have a soccer boot on it?

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