So today I found a song. I had a song treasure map and it lead me to the most dancey place on Earth.
Boys Noize – Jeffer
for your visual and audio over stimulation.
On an unrelated note remember it is soon to be all wintery outside across the northern world. Watch out for Abominable Snowmen! Or the Abdominal Snowman…
Yea, that thing exists... much sexier than the snow big-foot ... much less scary though, and much less hairy, but i bet this guy shaves...
So get this image, no copyright, you sit down to eat a picnic. Your family and puppy are with you. You have a pic-a-nic basket full of ba-low-knee sandwiches and some welches grapefruit juice boxes.
Why did you put the sandwiches in a bowl you asshole! another picnic ruined!
You put down your blanket and say a prayer. Something like, “Dear Jesus thank you for being God. The End. Bye, and PS I want a puppy. Then God answers – “douche with the ugly family, I’m God not Santa…” Then you open your eyes and your dog is running away and you wonder where is Timmy? Your wife screams and you realize you sat on a TRAP DOOR! and a spider just ate your sandwiches … well and your son… but you were really hungry!
I am a Trap Door Spider and I love Sandwiches
So, I don’t go anywhere near the outside for 3 reasons.
1) Trap Door Spiders – you never know when you are going to fall into the depths of the planet and get violently raped by a giant spider. Or get spider web on your face. I know that is soooo annnoying!
2) Y2K – wait a tick, that shit is long over! The world didn’t end! Ahhh I owe Tony Danza 50 bucks. Damnit.
3) Trap Door Spiders – I know that’s #1 but they have trap doors! You will never know where that shit could be! Find the trap door here.
FUCK! IT COULD BE ANYWHERE! AHHHHHHHH!!!! RUN!!!! SPIDERS IN MY HAIR! AHHHH!!
Look at the trap door spider. Hairy, leggy, spidery, hidey, trapdoory, eats human babies and unicorns. Yea, fact. Unicorns were extinct by trap door spiders. I would bet Tony Danza 50 bucks that Trap Door Spiders are radioactive and can fly too… If you have a video of a trap door spider flying and glowing green send to me, I need to win some bucks back from the trash collecting field goal kicker family movie guy.
AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #56 (aka how did I wait so long!)
Bebeee booo bee bee boop boop beee bee bee boop boop boop beeep beeeep booop booop beee be bbeee boppp dee dee deep boop booop (repeat 100x)
DARUDE – SANDSTORM
What are they running from? Trap door spiders. Duh.
Soooooo, I was staring at the sun today and went blind which reminded me who was the boss. The sun, if it wanted, of course it could explode the planet Earth with flame balls and explosions. Do you know what happens on the sun everyday? Solar Explosions! The Sun sends out cosmic Hadukens all day ever day! If you fell onto the sun not only would your face melt off but so would your pants! Then your balls would get burnt and you’d have no pants! You would be so embarassed trying to hitch hike with aliens back to Earth!
Me - "Hey Sun! Stop exploding Venus! It's just a little guy!" - the Sun "fuck venus"
Well Venus is gone. Which is fine, Venus always made me think of veiny penises anyways. (i’ll give you some time to let that sink in). I once heard some guy on the street tell me that the sun not only burns at a trazillion degrees but that it burns at blue when its sad! Like a mood ring or mood eye patch, which is what Pirates used to wear.
Me - "It's okay sun, I know you miss Venus, but you were the one who melted it with all those explosions." The Sun - "I... know...(sniffles and trembling lower lip)"
I also heard some “scientist” tell me that the sun is actually a smaller sized star and there are countless other stars that are bigger, brighter and hotter. I said, scientist you’re obviously not a scientist of english, cause if there were more than 1, why is ours called THE SUN, not just, Some Sun In the Midst Of Millions Of Other Suns That May Or May Not Be Bigger Or Better… He said, what are the other stars then… to that I said, no more questions! and then this…
Suck it Scientist!
Then I ran away cause the cops saw me and apparently you can’t kick scientist in the nutz. Whatever America! I am going to Soviet country.
END!
—–
Awesome song of the Day #55 Goes out to all my Peeps in NYC!
THE A IS FOR AWESOME 
