Archive for May, 2009

FUCKING FINALLY AWESOMENESS: SNAKE/SCORPION/LIZARD WHISKY!

Posted in Awesome, Humor, Music, Nature with tags , , , , , , , on May 18, 2009 by tsanda

I have been so sick of only having the choice to drink 1 booze with a once living creature living in it.  Tequila is so boring and worms are lame. It’s about time that after I am done binge drinking a bottle of blindness inducing mexican alcohol that I can collect all the creatures they stick in there.  Well, my prayers are answered…Thanks God! You Rock!

 

OHHHHH NEAT! Dead Snakes and Scorpions... in my drink...thanks...

OHHHHH NEAT! Dead Snakes and Scorpions... in my drink...thanks...

The creator of these genius product has created a fun game to along with drinking.  Rare collectables, collect the whole set.  The double pack that have scorpions AND snakes is the best.  Their respective venoms seep into your drink and form together like Voltron and only give you seizures for 5 – 10 minutes, after that gonna have such a good night!  It is like absinthe but instead of hallucinations it slowly shuts down your nervous system and kills you! Give me another shot you pussy!

Snakes? scorpions, is that all you have???? WAIT THERES MORE! 

 

GIANT LIZARDS and Scorpions in little baby bottles...for the kids.

GIANT LIZARDS and Scorpions in little baby bottles...for the kids.

The real excitement is that the next company is going to take this trend and run with it even more.  So first it was worms in tequila, then it was snakes and scorpions in whiskey.  Soon we will have grizzly bears in vodka and great white sharks in a beer keg.  The sky really is the limit.  Do you think the Star Wars universe has a booze bottle with a Rancor in it?  I certainly hope so.  

I am going to go trap a mountain lion and put it in some bath tub gin.  Who wants a shot?!?!? 

Bottoms up!  (just watch out for the Koala in the Mint Julep they get a little soggy….)

————–

Awesome Song of the Day #35

Barr – “The Song Is Simple”

————

TECHNOLOGY AWESOMENESS: THE HOVERCRAFT!

Posted in Awesome, Dork, Humor, Music, Science, Technology with tags , , , , , , on May 12, 2009 by tsanda

Ever get sick of driving around on wheels?  Ever get sick of boating on water? Ever get sick of riding horse legs? Yes on 1-3.  Our modern ways of transportation are so ineffective and boring. I mean isn’t their some way we can get from A to B in some serious style while barley not touching the ground?  The answer is a resounding yes.  The Hovercraft.

 

Hovercraft says Fuck you Suckas

Hovercraft says "Fuck you Suckas"

Remember when Jackie Chan was run over by a hovercraft in Ruble in the Bronx? Yeah me too, that was awesome. 

You can hover these “crafts” over nearly anything.  Water… probably, Dirt… most likely, Lava… absolutely not don’t be silly.

Hovercrafts are almost too confusing and scientific to describe how they work.  There are entire episodes of Bill Nye the Science Guy on decoding the mystery of hovercrafts.  It has something to do air being pushed down under something else causing a space to be created that other thing hovers on…Wait a minute.  That isn’t confusing at all! Thanks this picture!

 

Somebody send this picture to Bill Nye! Hovercrafts wear skirts?

Somebody send this picture to Bill Nye! Hovercrafts wear skirts?

So another 5 minutes spent on this blog and another mystery of the universe unlocked.  Man o’ Man I deserve the Pulitzer Prize wrapped in a Nobel Peace Prize welded to an Oscar.  I will let the science and film academies work on that.  I ‘ll be waiting here with Bill Nye.  We are going to make a volcano!

Quiz – What do hovercrafts hover over? Definitely no Lava!

Lesson Over

———-

Awesome Song of the Day #34

Deastro – “the Shaded Forests”

Basketball Awesomeness: Lebron James

Posted in Awesome, Basketball, Humor, Music, Sports with tags , , , , on May 11, 2009 by tsanda

If you don’t by now you will never know.  When it is all said and done Lebron James will be remembered as the best basketball player ever.  Haters start becoming agitated that anybody would say that.  Well, fuck off…how about that?  Being massive Denver Nugget supporters it only pains us slightly to say “Lebron James is the Best”.  Melo is the man but only top #10.  Dwayne Wade can carry a game at any time but he doesn’t carry every game.  Kobe is Kobe, he is dirty (in the baller way… well … and the dirty elbow people in the throat way too).  But nobody can guard, stop or even slow down Lebron James.  He doesn’t miss shots because he took a bad shot; he only lets the other team have a little chance to stay in the game.  If you haven’t watched the playoffs then you have missing his incredible acumen (yeaaaaa nice word son!) for playing basketball.  At least 10 times a game, repeat… at least 10 a game, he does something that you must tivo and watch at least one more time.  

 

The rest of the teams are playing in his league.

The rest of the teams are playing in his league.

Here is a sample of what a normal day looks like for Lebron James.  

6 am – Wake up

7 am – Make 300 three pointers in a row

7:15 am – Hunt a deer.

8:00 am – Cook said deer and make some eggs with a glass of milk.  Sometimes Orange Juice.

9:00 am – Run to practice which is 27 miles away.

9:15 – Get to practice / Stretch.

10:00 am – Make 300 more three pointers.

10:15 am – Walk on Water 

11:00 am – Nap time.

12:00 – Lunch Time – A sandwich.

1:00 pm – Build an entire house for Habitat for Humanity

2:00 pm – Attend a Peace Conference in the Mid East and broker a peace deal between Isreal and Palastine

3:00 pm – Read to blind children while making 300 more three pointers, this time they are underhand.

4:00 pm – Get ready for the game

5:00 pm – Break dance for awhile

6:00 pm – Score 35 Rebound 15 and Assist 9 (off night)

10:00 pm – Run Home

10:15 pm – Paint a portrait of his mother saving a bus from a group of bears. (yea, I actually want that painting also)

11:00 sleep

And that was just monday.

For those who truthfully don’t know – Enjoy this.

Lebron’s best moments of 09′

MVP at 24…Nuff Said.

 

Please don’t go to the Knicks…PLEASE!

———

Awesome Song of the Day # 33

Wale – Artistic Integrity (yep more Wale…cause he is the truth)