WEAPON AWESOMENESS: FLAME THROWERS!


Flame throwers are really cool.  I mean they do just like their title and throw flame.  Which is so much less scientific than most weapons.  Guns shoot bullets and RPGs are grenades that are propelled by rockets, pretty sciency stuff. But flame throwers hit their technological peak with being thrown. Some guy was like, “man I really want to throw flames at something, but it keeps burning my hands.” 

 

This is for the birds! Time to invent the flame thrower.

This is for the birds! Time to invent the flame thrower.

And the Flame Thrower was born, or created, if it was born I feel bad for whoever had to birth it.  Ouch.  And Ewwww.  Flame throwers are said to have been created as far back as 1AD! I bet it was Jesus who did it… ohh that Jesus… They can come in backpack form, mounted to vehicles (awesome) or in Boba Fett’s wrist.   Flame throwers consist of some sort of flammable agent and a tiny little flame.  They can be as simple as a spray paint can and a lighter and as complicated as a campfire and a super soaker full of lighter fluid (don’t try at home dummies!) Flame throwers have so many uses too: clearing brush, fighting the Germans, keeping vampires at bay and toasting marshmallows.  Here is a little diagram I did for that last one.  I finally got my paint capabilities back, so expect some more paint stuff after the jump off. (may or may not have spelled marshmallows wrong…ohh well it is character…right…)

 

The Flamematic 2000 - Marshmallows are fucked.

The Flamematic 2000 - Marshmallows are fucked.

It does have one big downside.  Just don’t get your flame machine shot or punctured.  It will be bad news bears.  Trust me.

 

How could something so awesome do this to me?!?

How could something so awesome do this to me?!?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot

What was the best use for Flame throwers? Answer: Clearing Brush…Yep…you pass. Good Job.  This time.

END

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Awesome song of the day #31

Animal Collective – “Fireworks”

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