FAMILY AWESOMENESS: MOVIE FAMILIES!

Movie families? Yep, not the gay ones, aka the Adams Family, but the ones that have a sweet non-human member.  Could you imagine as a kid that you have two parents, a sister and a giant Bigfoot for a brother?  He could fight off bullies, lift cars over his head and probably do your math homework for you. Probably…

 

Okay, I also with John Lithgow was in my family.

Man ohhh man, it would be sweet.  The only family disputes you would have would revolve around all the shedding your new family member does and the fact that he eats all your food and occasionally tries to eat your cat.

 

Thats okay nobody likes cats anyways.

Alot of the time they would only do what you wanted them to do.  Cause they are dumber than you or just programmed that way.  You can have them bring you cakes, or blow out candles , or dance with you or just plain get you a beer. Rocky Balboa certainly knows how to give a birthday present.

 

Happy Birthday Paulie! They unfortunetly never took a family portrait for Rocky IV

So the moral of this story is that we all need to add some sort of creature/robot/monster/alien to our household. In the end it will bring us all closer together and help us find the true meaning of family, and I always wanted a werewolf for a brother. 

Out.

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Awesome Song of The Day #38

Eddie Murphy – Party all the Time

(If you haven’t heard this do yourself a favor)

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FOOD AWESOMENESS: KETCHUP!

What is the best thing on the planet to eat on other stuff? Let this list of ingredients help you; tomato concentrate, corn syrup (or other surgar),vinegar, salt, spice and herb extracts (including celery), spice and garlic powder.  Now, I don’t know about the celery, sounds like wikipedia is full of shit on that one.  But the rest of those things all mix together and form a taste sensation / explosion / volcano / supernova / apocalypse of red semi thick topping, dip or condiment. 

 

Forget the NBA playoffs, ketchup is where amazing happens.

Now if your like me you probably just tried to rub some french fries on the screen. Sorry about that.  Now Ketchup, most people think hotdogs and burgers and you would be very very right.  But guess what Breakfast was made for ketchup.  Hashbrowns, eggs and sausage all dream about ketchup at night and I oblige them every morning with the proper burial they deserve….a ketchup burial.  Note to world, when I die, cremate me, put me in a bottle of Ketchup, then put me in a cannon and shoot me over the grand canyon.  No real reason why the grand canyon just sounded pretty damn epic.  I want a ketchup phone. 

 

Yea you thought I made that shit up!

All this ketchup talk is making me hungry.  You need to see the movie Cobra starring Sly Stallone, the girl he is protecting drowns her fries in Ketchup.  Perfect.

I am going to open some ketchup packets directly into my mouth and probably just take a bath in some.

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Awesome Song of The Day # 37

Aesop Rock – “None Shall Pass”

Artwork by Jeremy Fish who is incredible.

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PLUSH AWESOMENESS: MODERN STUFFED ANIMALS!

Stuffed animals were a favorite part of many kids childhood.  If they weren’t part of yours then I am sorry, you were probably raised in a cult or some sort of communist commune.  You could get stuffed animals in so many varieties and they liked to hang out with you and keep monsters away at night…..ohhhh so i’ve been told…..

But recently I have a noticed that there are a ton of awesome new stuffed animals and plush toys.  They really aren’t for kids but neither is this blog so it works perfectly.  Here is a great learning tool for kids though. 

 

Learn all your fun diseases in adorable plush toy form.

They are all modeled after a form of bacteria, virus or microbe.  Here is a list of some of the fun creatures involved.

• Heartworm (Dirofilaria immitis)!
• Salmonella (Salmonella typhimurium)
• The Plague – black death (Yersinia pestis)
• Mad Cow Disease(Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy)
• E. Coli(Escherichia coli

Man and to think that I was raised my whole childhood without a HIV or Streptococcus plush toy to hold while in bed.  If you want your kid to grow up to be doctor buy them these toys.  They will be able to ace their med school because they will already know these bacteria and such from their childhoods.  Nurse,”Doctor, What is this disease this man only has 3 seconds to live”  Doc “Calm down nurse, this is Salmonella I remembered from my childhood, I had the cutest stuffed salmonella in my room” , Nurse “thanks doc but your speech to took to long and he died”, Doc “rats”

They are not all just for educational use some are just cute as hell for the reason of being cute as hell.

 

GRRRRRRRR!

That thing is awesome, if I ever decide to get an imaginary friend I am going to enlist this dude for the job.

End

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Awesome Song of the Day #36

Alamo Race Track – The Northern Territory

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