Sleeping Awesomeness: Sleeping Bags Are Finally Cool!


When I was a kid, many many moons ago. Sleeping bags were fucking wack.  Cold, restricting and uncomfortable were the names of the game, and the game wasn’t fun or warm, or comfortable…. Right.  Just because the army has shitty sleeping bags doesn’t mean I want to go camping/sleep in the backyard with a shitty ass sleeping bag.  Example … Warning! This could bring back bad flashbacks.

 

Sleeping in this is like getting raped by the ground and the cold. Violently.

Sleeping in this is like getting raped by the ground and the cold. Violently.

Ugh.

Now kids and adults alike get to sleep in the coolest shit ever.  I have immediately sold my bed and my sheets and bought 3 sleeping bags.  I rotate these bags between my mid day nap, afternoon nap and evening sleeping.  The dreams I have been having are incredible they usually involve me, my best friend a bear, and a Jedi.  It goes without saying we are warm as hell. 

 

Looks like your being eaten by a bear! Which would normally suck.

Looks like your being eaten by a bear! Which would normally suck.

So in this dream after my bear friend and I wrestle a giant crab to death and eat it.  We get a little cold.  So a Jedi comes to our rescue, riding his Taun Taun.  We then cut it open and take a nap and eat it from the inside out for a snack, that crab filled us up … we really only needed a snack.  Tastes like chicken but it’s a little gamey.  Could have used some salt.

Kids suck for having this Sleeping bag now.

 

Wrapped in Heaven

Wrapped in Heaven

It has a light saber zipper, so it’s like your violently killing the Taun Taun before you sleep in it.

What about the Adults? Not quite as good, but don’t get me wrong still fucking incredible. Haven’t you ever wanted to run around town or do jumping jacks or dance the robot while in your sleeping bag!? ME TO! We should really hang out in sleeping bags together sometime.  It would be rad.  Now you can solve a murder mystery and still stay warm, and when its over you can lay on a park bench and sleep.  Nobody will think your a bum either.

I would definitely do the robot in this thing.

I would definitely do the robot in this thing.

Cause what bum has this!? 

 

None, Silly.  It was a trick question. 

END

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Awesome Song of The Day #23

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2 Responses to “Sleeping Awesomeness: Sleeping Bags Are Finally Cool!”

  1. Copperpot Says:

    That sleeping bag thing with legs and arms, it’s got an urban/hip look to it.
    Just make sure no rappers see this; then they’ll wear one in a one of their videos, and every fucking person in the world will then wear one, and it’ll look like the world was overtaken by the Michelin Man.

  2. I am still trying to decide if everybody wearing these around all the time would be a bad or not… fist fights would be alot less painful… it needs more contemplation.

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