Archive for April, 2009

AWESOMENESS UPDATE: SNICKERS!

Posted in Awesome, Food, Humor, Music with tags , , , , on April 28, 2009 by tsanda

Few nights ago I felt like I should get some gas for my automobile so I went to a corner store to pick some up.  I went inside to also find some fuel for my body and I felt like an ice cream sandwich. Actually the only reason I went to the store was to get an ice cream sandwich, don’t judge me.  Wow this post is exciting.  Okay, but down to brass tacks (weird saying) what did I discover? New Snickers invention, well new to me and the packaging is yelling the word new right at me so thats more than good enough for me.  It is the Snickers Brownie Ice Cream Sandwich.  Holy bologna it was incredible.  Other than the terrible sugar stomach ache it gave me I wanted to go buy two more and eat one and rub the other on my face. 

 

Cherish every bite, you will tear up when its over... Trust me I know from heart-wrenching experience

Cherish every bite, you will tear up when its over... Trust me I know from heart-wrenching experience

Sucks to be my teeth now…sorry guys! At least I can replace you with fake replicas.  Nice.  Probably go the wooden route, makes a lot of sense. Ughhh can your wooden dentures get overrun with termites? That would be gross.

Is fake replica redundant?  Whatever …. I am not a scientist. 

Great Link

Phillies Cat –

http://withleather.uproxx.com/?attachment_id=17520

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Awesome song of the day #30! (Number 30 big day…need something great)

Buck 65 – “Roses and Blue Jays”

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ALBUM ARTWORK AWESOMENESS: KEVIN EUBANKS!

Posted in Awesome, Dork, Humor, Music with tags , , , , , on April 27, 2009 by tsanda

Iconic album covers are always thought to be Abbey Road, London Calling, Nirvana and Queen II.  Those are boring beyond belief.  I mean how often do we have to look at that babies penis before we can talk about other great album covers.  Well I say now! 9:47pm MST Monday April 27th 2009.  Now we can usher in the new generation of iconic album covers.  So I did some searching and through a stroke of master genius I remembered one of the best album covers I have ever seen.  So I investigated further and yep, all were great.  Who might I be talking about?  (Go back and read the title)  Yep yeppers Kevin “Jay Leno’s Sidekick” Eubanks. Example #1.  Trust me…I don’t think your ready.

 

HAHAHAHAH....ahhh HAHAHHAHA So greased up he is.

HAHAHAHAH....ahhh HAHAHHAHA So greased up he is.

Ohh they only get better.  A little known fact about Kevin Eubanks is that his third love is kittens.  Right behind mustaches and fish tacos.

 

Killing that cat softly with this song...

Killing that cat softly with this song...

Some day’s Mr. Eubanks isn’t feeling vain and he is not in the mood to serenade a kitten.  But rather he is a little down and needs some me time.  For some smooth jazz inner reflections.

 

Just staring into your soul. Watch out kevin will seduce you.

Just staring into your soul. Watch out kevin will seduce you.

Other times Kev just wants to go out on the town and he just has to look good.  Total Daper Dan style.  Don’t worry Kev Eub has got style down pat.

 

That jacket should be worn by a superhero...ohhh wait it is.

That jacket should be worn by a superhero...ohhh wait it is.

There are a few more but we will only delve into one more.  Because this is probably the piece de resistance.  No music is hotter than smooth jazz and nobody is hotter than Kevin Eubanks.  So its only adequate that he is the HEAT OF HEAT.  ENJOY.

 

That shirt is impressive

That shirt is impressive

But all joking aside Mr. Eubanks is a kick ass guitarist and commands a lot of respect in the Jazz world.  If you ever get a chance check him out sometime.  Or just frame all of these master pieces of modern art.  Your girlfriend might think it’s weird at first but she will get used to it, if not just kick her out and chill with Kev. 

Out

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Awesome song of the day #29

Bone Thugs N Harmony – First of The Month

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MOVIE AWESOMENESS: THE HIDDEN!

Posted in Aliens, Awesome, cars, Explosions, Humor, Music with tags , , , , , , , on April 20, 2009 by tsanda

The Hidden came out in 1987.  It is a gem of movie making genius.  It was an independent release at the time and made 5 million dollars.  According to my brain thats really good for then.  It is what movie nerds (myself) like to call a “cult classic” which is sorta odd because I don’t think the branch dividians or hale – boppers liked The Hidden… but they may have.  Never know … definitely not going to know now.  It is kinda a cliche to say but … I am going to say it anyways … they just don’t make them like this anymore.  

the-hidden-poster-1

You are just waiting on the edge of your seat to learn why this movie deserves a movie awesomeness post.  Sorry, we are kinda cock teasing right now. Okay, here is the premise.  An alien comes to earth that loves to cause havoc and gets off on adrenaline.  So it goes around taking over human bodies, robs banks, kills people, gets into police chases in a Ferrari, tries to assassinate a politician, takes over a stripper and sexes a guy to death and those are the parts I can remember. Ohhh yea and if that wasn’t enough, and if it wasn’t your impossible to please, flame-throwers. 

 

Aliens have all the fun.

Aliens have all the fun.

Sooooooo … how do the Earthlings have any chance against this thing?  They don’t really except for one hard as nails cop and an “FBI” agent who is actually another alien who just wants to murder that other asshole alien.  Like a non gay MIB.

The whole movie rocks but the beginning rivals such beginnings as Heat and Saving Private Ryan and Bambi.  So, this alien robs a bank, shoots a bunch of people with a shotgun, gets into a black Ferrari Testarossa and gets into a police chase.  Don’t mind that for some reason the police cars can keep up with a Ferrari thats no big deal.  A lot of crashing ensues.  Our asshole alien antagonist decides to hit a guy in a wheel chair and aims at two guys carrying a plate glass window across a street and smashing their window and heads on his windshield.  The cops then set a barrier, shoot him a bunch of times and he gets out of the car and smiles.  Then the Ferrari explodes.  So awesome.  Best part, found that clip on You Tube. Enough of me telling you about it, if a picture is worth a thousand words this clip is worth 47 trillion words.

HOLY SHIT! I OWN THIS ON VHS! AND DON’T OWN A VHS PLAYER! OHHH THE HUMANITY!

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Awesome song of the Day #28

Woodhands – I Wasn’t Made For Fighting

Video is sooooo coooool (with multiple o’s!)

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SCIENCE AWESOMENESS: TIME TRAVEL!

Posted in Actors, Awesome, Dork, Movies, Music, Science, Technology with tags , , , , , , on April 16, 2009 by tsanda

How can this blog tackle a subject as dense and scientific as time travel! Easy same way we tackle every other topic, with half assed wikipedia reading and some sweet pictures.  So time travel is defined by Merriam Webster and associates as the act of traveling in time.  Yea, I thought it was going to be way more deep than that, sorta sounds like we made it up… well here is another big science phrase we didn’t make up Quantum Entanglement!

 

Yea, Bet You Didn't Know I Knew about the Quantum Entaglements.

Yea, Bet You Didn't Know I Knew about the Quantum Entaglements.

Okay, we are already bored of scientific time travel.  We are pretty sure the best movies ever have to do with time travel.  So if we combined all these into one it would be the best movie ever right?  It only makes sense, don’t have to be a scientist to know that.  Wouldn’t hurt though scientists are smart.

So the movie starts with a young scientist who discovers a Einstein-Rosen-Podolsky bridge  and slides through it.  Upon completing his slide he discovers he has gone forward in time and there is a robot revolution going on.  Which blows.  He finds a junked Delorean retrofits it with a flux capacitor (what? he made it…he is a fucking scientist remember) and shoots back in time.  The machines see this and decide they will use this technology to kill the leader of the resistance that is fighting against them.  So they send back a machine in their own delorean.  It is 1950 and the young scientist finds he has gone to his parents hometown and must figure out a way to get them together or he and his brother are never born.  His younger brother apparently is bound for greatness, he is going to lead the resistance against the machines.  The machine learns this and decides it will kill the younger brother to stop the resistance.  In regular time, right now, the Time Enforcement Commission (TEC) decides it needs to send back its best cop to save the day.

 

Mullets and Vests are Huge in the Future.

Mullets and Vests are Huge in the Future.

So time cop comes back in time, but forgets his weapons.  So two nerdy guys must quantum leap back into time and help Time Cop get into a fist fight with the machine to save the resistance.  End.  Or is it…Not yet.  In 1000 years a couple of stoner students must do a report on this event in history so they get into their phone booth and try to learn all the can.  End of movie credits roll.  Hell i’d see it.

Pop Quiz Hot Shot: Best Time Traveling Devise.

1. Back to the Future

 

Gonna be tough to beat

Gonna be tough to beat

 2. Time Cop Car/Geometric Shape Thingy.

 

Huge Extravagance Points.

Huge Extravagance Points.

3. Bill and Ted’s Phone booth?

 

I need to go back into time...but Colin Ferrel won't get out of the phone booth or stop crying...weird.

I need to go back into time...but Colin Ferrel won't get out of the phone booth or stop crying...weird.

You can vote in the comments page.

DONE!

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AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY #27

French Miami – Science Fiction

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MUSIC AWESOMENESS: FOALS!

Posted in Awesome, Basketball, Music, Sports with tags , , on April 15, 2009 by tsanda

HEY KIDS!  Time for more music.  Last week we introduced you to a little band called Yeasayer.  We hope you are ready for more.  This week we hop across the pond, well more like fly for 8 hours but I slept the whole time so it seemed short.  We landed in Oxford, England and danced the night away to a great band, Foals.  

 

Huge Tennis Fans Also (Serena is their fav sister)

Huge Tennis Fans Also (Serena is their fav sister)

They play a high energy brand of rock which has drawn comparisons to Franz Ferdinand and Bloc Party.  Although much more popular in England they are gaining recognition here in the States from their great live performances.  They have a great debut album our right now, Antidotes.  Give em a listen, you will probably find your right foot tapping uncontrollably.  It’s okay its natural.

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“Cassius”

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“Hummer”

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Hope you Enjoy!

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Awesome Dunk of The Night #1

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MONSTER AWESOMENESS: GODZILLA!

Posted in Actors, Awesome, Dork, Humor, Monsters, Music on April 13, 2009 by tsanda

It’s amazing that something with so little production value can have such an impressive following, it is kinda of like this blog, but without the impressive following. It got us thinking about a very important question.  Why do people like Godzilla so much?  I think it can all be summed up with a quote from Godzilla 2000, in which a wise man once said, “Maybe because… there is a little Godzilla inside each one of us!”  Which hopefully wasn’t meant literally cause that could really hurt.

 

Our Power Animal

I just hope the little part of Godzilla in me isn't the pointy crystals...

Godzilla comes from the Pacific Ocean to destroy or protect Japan.  However he is feeling that day.  He is like Japan’s pimp, he will occasionally bitch slap it a little bit; but if another monster is messing with his turf he will come to it’s rescue and kick the shit out of that monster.  Godzilla has fought a giant moth who was presumably trying to eat Godzilla’s sweaters.  He has also fought giant robots and a space rock that for some reason then became a monster who also for some reason hated Godzilla.  I could be wrong, but I think people like Godzilla because they like watching giant monsters getting into fisticuffs and accidently smashing buildings in the process.  Hey, I never said it would be a good explanation.  Just the Truth.  I just wish old cool Godzilla would find and murder new and gay American Godzilla.

I have found that some people complain that Godzilla is just to hard to read as an actor.  They say, “He is too wooden and one dimensional.”  To that I say, “for the untrained eye, maybe… but let me train you”.  

You say, “thanks.”

I say, “Your welcome” 

 

Follow along from left to right top to bottom (just incase you’re just learning how to read)

 

 

Godzilla the Thespian's Thespian

Godzilla the Thespian's Thespian

 

 

 

1. Happy

2. Sad

3. Worried

4. Excited

5. Nervous

6. Horny

7. Bloated

8. Hungry

9. Curious

10. Drunk

11. Reflective

12. Stuffed

13. Cowardly

14. Hot and Bothered.

15. Concentrating

16. Awestruck

Now you can watch Godzilla and actually know what is going on.

DONE!

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Awesome Song of the Day #26

This is normally called kidnapping but Billy Ocean is a smooth operator.

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CRIMINAL AWESOMENESS: THE MA FUCKIN HAMBURGLAR!

Posted in Awesome, Dork, Food, Humor, Music on April 12, 2009 by tsanda

It is sunday and it is late and I’m tired.  So I am going to keep this short and sweet.  The only criminal that all people love is the hamburger.  Cause he is just so mischievous and sweet.  Today’s criminals can learn a lot from the hamburglar; if you get caught stealing dvd’s from 7-11 just shrug, smile and giggle and I bet the cops will let you go…   I mean he looks a little sketchy  it appears from his clothes that he just escaped maximum security prison for rape or triple homicide or something like that.  But I mean, the guy just wants a hamburger.  Can you fault the guy? America has fucked up a lot of shit… but Hamburgers are pure like a unicorn in the sunrise.  

 

Dudes got good taste

Dudes got good taste

 

 

I am going to go steal a Hamburger right now. God Bless you hamburgler, just don’t steal my fucking hamburger.  Or your fucking dead.

Ohhh and P.S. Fuck Ronald McDonald.

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Awesome song of the Day # 25

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