WEAPON AWESOMENESS: SNIPER RIFLES!


You know that guy who is always shooting at you while you fill up with gas or go jogging or make a sandwich?  But you never know where he is!!!! You’re always like, what the crap!  Where are all these bullet holes around me coming from?  Well, he has a sniper rifle.  He is apparently a terrible shot too.  But you’ll never see him.  He is probably 10 miles away.  Or on a mountain top.

 

Cutest... and Deadliest Sniper Ever!   MEOW MUTHA FUCKA YOU DEAD!

Cutest... and Deadliest Sniper Ever! MEOW MUTHA FUCKA YOU DEAD!

So sniper rifles were invented by a genius.  He said …”war kinda blows” (direct quote)… getting shot while trying to shoot other people kinda sucks.  Why don’t I sit in some watch tower somewhere and just cap people? Wow… why didn’t people think of that earlier.  The only thing more efficient than that is Robocop.  So they are smart and efficient not to mention they are usually awesome looking.  The bullets are usually really huge to.  How big…let me think…Like the size of a fist.  It’s like getting punched in the face by a gun.  But your head is then missing, and bleeding alot. I mean like everywhere.

People think snipers are all business.  Can’t have any fun or sense of humors.  Not true.  They will play tic tac toe with each other on a wall a mile away.  Or make some poor guy dance who is across the street and has no idea what is going on.  Or they just want to make themselves giggle every time the blow somebody’s dome to pieces. 

 

Mustaches and face explosions go hand in hand....

Mustaches and face explosions go hand in hand....

Movies love snipers.  Bill Paxton from Navy Seals.  Aka “GOD”.  The dude from Saving Private Ryan, who unfortunately gets killed by a tank.  Which is an obvious mismatch.  That debacle that is Enemy at the Gates.  Jude Law playing a bad ass?  Right and I’m going to play Jude Law in, Perfect: The Jude Law Story…  And Billy Z and Tom B in Sniper.  

 

I am a Sniper and apparently a Gay Cowboy.

I am a Sniper and apparently a Gay Cowboy.

So Class is dismissed.  Your test is next week. 

Study Guide.  

Kill something far away? Sniper Rifle. 

Impress Billy Zane? Sniper Rifle.

That is all

 

OUT!

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Awesome song of the Day # 17

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