ANIMAL(?) MONSTER(?) THING AWESOMENESS: WOOKIES
Star Wars is a touchy awesome subject. A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi (the best) are all incredible. A generation of dorks was raised on jabba, hans solo, lando and admiral akbar! Ahh shit don’t forget that weird faced thing that hangs out with Lando in RofJ, that guy never fails to crack me up. Then the last three piles of flaming middle fingers from George Lucas to the American Nerd came along and ruined it all. You can’t even say you like Star Wars anymore without prefacing it…with…”not the ones that give you herpes of the eyes if you watch them”. The only saving grace of the news ones? It’s hard to come up with…But I will hang my hat on the wookies. There was atleast a wookie army, and not even George “i’ve completely lost my mind” Lucas can ruin Wookies. Wookies are the coolest. Just Look.
Why are wookies so awesome? Well first off, they don’t wear any pants. Never, under any circumstances…flying spaceships…no, fighting wars…nope…Eating Dinner with your parents…nah…Which gets awkward when your mom has to pick wookie hair out of her teeth.
They use crossbows. How cool is that! They could use blasters, or ray guns, or tractor beams or death stars…but nope. We are good with crossbows. AWESOME x2
They are covered in hair, they are like all the time werewolves, but instead of eating your face off and your cat, they are actually very nice creatures. Supposedly a wookie will hold the door open for the handicapped, help an elderly lady across the street and fight a bear if they have to. Very chivalrous race.
What else have they done? Throw out the first pitch at a baseball game! THEY DO IT ALL!
Don’t worry we are not going to let this post go without the George Washington or Peyton Manning of Wookies (i.e. the fucking coolest!) He is the wookie OG, he can hang on tatooine or party in the swamps of Dagobah. He gets all the ladies and can fuck up all the guys. Had he fought Darth Maul, he would have just ripped his arms out. But he is also a sweet heart, when C3PO gets blow to bits, he gets sad, and caresses his face. Awesome Tear Jerker Alert!
Here is to you my friend!
Can you imagine a Wookie family reunion! Thanks to some random photo on the internet we thankfully can!
Can you honestly look at this picture and not lose your shit?!? I can’t HA! that is priceless.
It’s even a scientific fact that wookies have a modern day, EARTH decedent! It’s true…my parents used to breed them. Cairn Terriers are miniature k-9 wookies.
Go watch the good Star Wars and remember how cool they were…Damn you Lucas…damn you.
(wow this post was nerdy)
Awesome Song of the Day #6 (in honor of our subject)