FOOD AWESOMENESS: SNICKERS BARS
As American children I think we are all raised to love candy. There are so many choices and it is all we really wanted. Unless your parents were hippies and made you eat broccoli and cabbage instead. In which case you suck…I hate to be the person who brakes it to you…but its true.
Now back to the Pièce de résistance of the candy world…starbursts are for real good…but not the best. M&M’s pretty kick ass…but again missing something. Mr. Goodbar? Fuck Mr. Goodbar…that noise tastes like vomit. The missing ingredient in all this is…Yep, The Nougat. Well that, the chocolate, the caramel and the peanuts. It’s all genius. Snickers really is the Albert Einstein of Candy Bars. I mean look at a picture of Whoppers, which is the cancer of candy.
I mean, I lost my appetite right then and there.
Lame Parent, “hey kids lets go fill our mouth with a pile of deer excrement!”
Kids, “Fuck that shit…I want a snickers.”
Don’t take my word for it. Snickers is the highest selling candy bar in the history of the planet. It has more than 2 billion in sales a year. I think NASA proved it has all the essential daily nutrients a human being needs. If you could plant a snickers bar and grow a snickers shrub… wouldn’t you!? Moral Dilemma…would you steal a snickers bar to feed your family? NOPE cause you would eat it before you got home! They are like the sirens from Greek Mythology but instead of making you crash into rocks in your boat you crash your teeth into gingivitis AND YOU DON’T CARE CAUSE THEY ARE DELECTABLE.
MR. T doesn’t lie.
Maybe don’t listen to Mr. T.
Okay, I am spent. Time for a king sized Snickers brake! If you want one meet me at 7-11 in 5. See you there and bring your Snickers. But not that dog… that asshole at my last snickers.
Awesome song of the Day #3