SCIENCE AWESOMENESS: THE TREE LOBSTER!


I can’t really say I’ve ever cared much for lobsters. I don’t get the fuss over their taste and it just seems weird that we boil them alive for better taste.  I don’t think any of the 11,746 chickens I’ve consumed in my life were ever boiled alive.  It supposedly locks in their soul which makes a great internal gravy. I am getting screwed!

So how do you get my attention? Ohh, the Tree Lobster.  You read that right.  Unless you are illiterate; and then you read that as lkajdkljiljrkldsjlfiaejlasdkfn. What prey-tell is a Tree Lobster? It is only a gigantic dude of a bug that was sick of turning extinct by humans so it hid on a tiny rock cliff island.  But that stupid son of a bitch didn’t realize we humans will search for a lifetime and not stop at anything to extinct everything.  USA! USA! USA!

Tree Lobster

Action shot of a scientist killing Tree Lobsters the only way science knows of. Fist punching the Thorax.

Science tells us that Tree Lobsters need to be capitalized because they are proper nouns. The More You Know, dum deeedle dum dooo (or however you write that jingle in words).  To bad NBC wasn’t trying to teach people the proper image for a floating rainbow star; and they say rap music corrupts minds.

The best part of the Tree Lobster? Where they live.  Balls Pyramid Island.

Balls.  That is all.

Balls. That is all.

I don’t think i’ve been more giddy about information in my life.  Giant bugs that live on Balls Island and it is the coolest looking island of all time. To bad we are going to extinct those bugs and put a Wal-Mart out there.  But ocean pirates need great deals on Bissels too.  Bissels just work great. The suction is wonderful and they come in just jazzy colors.

I would scream like a boiled alive lobster if I saw one of those things. Giant bugs should stay where they belong.  Balls island.

Woot Woot!

Awesome Song of the Day

Big Boi Ft. Kid Cudi

She Hates Me

“If you can hate on anybody, girl, I am glad it was me.”

Big Boi has been doing this for 20 years and it is pitiful how underrated he is.  Outkast for life.

 

 

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One Response to “SCIENCE AWESOMENESS: THE TREE LOBSTER!”

  1. Stop looking at Balls Island. That is where my laboratory is.

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