THAT SQUIRREL STOLE MY TORTILLA!


I was walking my pet dog tonight.  I’ve tried to get him a membership to curves but he is to embarrassed.  He says he has to lose a few more pounds to keep up with the sweet babes that he will be working up a sweat with.

Getting some sexy thighs. Daddy needs a stick a butter, a baseball mitt and a jason mask. Time to get nasty

For those of you who know my pet dog.  He would fit in perfectly at curves.  Blasting that fat.

So were are walking.  I see this cute as a basket of buttons squirrel holding half a tortilla.  So I said “Hey, Squirrel, you stole my Tortilla!”.  It was like heaven parted the red seas and inspiration struck.  I was going to take a photograph of it.  I was going to tag that photograph with the witty catch phrase of “that squirrel stole my tortilla”.  It was going to get its own post and maybe a separate facebook tag.  I don’t know the possibilities were breath taking.  People were going to start saying, “that squirrel stole my tortilla”.  I was ready to rake in my millions and be famous like John Stamos.  What happens? My pet dog scares him away before I have time to instagram that fucking squirrel.  Ohh dog of mine.  Back to the drawing board.

-

AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY

CLAP YOUR HANDS AND SAY YEAH!

MISSPENT YOUTH

my 2nd favorite song of 11.

TWO AWESOME SONGS?

—–

Maybe I could walk around and just say “Lego my Eggo?” to random people.  Extra emphasis on the question mark.  Maybe I’ll even just say “question mark” at the end.

YES! PAY ME!

 

 

 

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